The Rainbow Connection

Ok, so yesterday we did our first; and hopefully last, IUI.  It didn't hurt as bad as the HSG, but the "slight cramping" was a little more intense than they led me to believe. It was over quickly, at least to Dan's point of view, for me it seemed as it lasted a bit longer.  Dan was great. He stood by my head, held my hand and whispered encouragement to me to just relax and breath. I told him afterwards that it was good practice for what was to come.  

We both laughed at the thought that we could very well be telling our child not just about the day she/he was born but about the day she/he was conceived too. How many kids get to hear that story! 

As we were leaving the building where our OB was, we were walking through a sky bridge and to our left was a gorgeous rainbow. I told Dan it was a sign. He said he didnt' believe in signs, I said I was mostly joking, though it was really cool to have a rainbow yesterday, at that exact moment.  I couldn't help thinking that the rainbow, in the Bible, was a sign of a promise God made to never destroy the world by flood again. It's the sign of a promise fulfilled, a sign of His constancy and faithfulness.   It gave me hope.  Like maybe God was telling me that He was giving us a child, was showing us His faithfulness.  

I'm taking a risk believing as strongly as I am right now, but I have to be honest, I can't help it. I believe this will work, I feel it in my soul. I had a moment yesterday of "What if I'm wrong? How will my faith or I survive that?"

It gave a few moments of fear and sadness, deep and dark like I had walked into a dungeon.  But I made the decision to not think about that right now. If the time comes, I'll face that, but not now.  Now is for believing, and hoping. Now is for waiting with baited breath, now is for relaxing and thinking every day that maybe some little spark of life is growing inside of me.  Now is for trusting.

So, will I post the good news here? yes, but I have to apologize to some of you because you will likely not find out until after the rest of the family does.  But yes, I will post it on the blog. I actually don't know what in the world I'll write about instead to distract you all!  I'm sure I"ll think of something.   I appreciate all your prayers and good thought sent our way, please keep them coming.