The blessing after the disappointment

Ok, so I figured I needed to post the good news on this blog along with the bad, just to add some much needed balance.  Dan and I bought our first home this weekend!  It's a great townhouse in South Seattle that we both just adore.  We can't wait to move in, in fact I've been jonesing all weekend to pack up the entire house and just get it done!  But due to the lack of boxes, Dan is saved from living in our apartment with floor to ceiling boxes for the next few weeks. We close on September 16th and will be moving in that weekend.  I can't believe it, our first home!  Our house, where we can hang curtains and paint and all that great homeowner type stuff.

This place is perfect, I knew it from the moment I walked through the door and I feel blessed, we both do.  It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in the bad, the hurt and the pain of our lives, the things we don't understand. And it's equally easy to forget those times when the next wonderful thing comes to us.  I think we still feel the sting of not having a child yet (though as always we are now playing the waiting game with my cycle...anyone know how I can get off this crazy merry-go-round?),  but the feeling like nothing is working out in our lives, like we just can't catch a break is lessened considerably by this news.  And I'm grateful for that.  So, I thank God for the perfect house...and what's cliche and funny is that I felt so slighted and neglected when we didn't get the other place, but this house is better than that one and I have to think that the waiting we are doing for our baby is a similar thing.  A blessing in disguise somehow.  It's the way God works, and the great thing?  He doesn't hold it against us when we yell and cry and jab our fist at him in frustration, He hugs us and tells us it will get better, and then He keeps his promise.  It may sound easy to be this way now, when we have a house, but I still struggle with this, because I want to trust when things aren't good and rosy. I think I do, and I probably trust more than I think I do, but the fact is I want to get better.  I feel like I freak out and get discouraged so easily now, and I've never been like that.  Perhaps it's the wear how long this has been going on, I don't know. I'm trying not to worry about it because frankly I don't want one more thing to worry about!

So, here we go on this next leg of our adventure. I know it sounds weird, but laying in bed the other night I couldn't help feeling like a part of our lives was closing and a new chapter lay ahead of us.  I know that sounds silly in regard to a house, but it's what I felt; and maybe it was a portent of something more, who knows?