Now, I realize this may sound...strange. But face it, we all have had times in our life that, for reasons that defy logic and sometimes good common sense, we do something impulsive and what may appear strange. Sometimes, this inner voice we have that prodds us to do things that are out of the ordinary for us pays off, sometimes it was just bad Thai food. I don't know what mine will be yet. It is possible that in a few weeks I will end up throwing the blasted magazine into the recycle with more force than necessary, or...it's possible I won't. All I know is that I after buying it, I felt light, walking on air (as cheesy as that sounds, and my husband is probably thinking of that blasted theme from "Greatest American Hero" right now! Love ya honey!) but it was true. My grin broke out into a downright smile and I giggled getting into the car, excited to read every single article, to ooh and aah at every add and maybe, yes, shed a few tears at the adorable pictures of babies in there. It felt strange sitting down with it at my coffee table as I scarffed my soup, because there in front of me was "Conquering Infertility", the book that has helped me maintain some sanity over the last few weeks. I had a moment of "Oh my God, I am a dork!" And I acknowledged it, let myself feel that for a moment, and then it passed and I started reading about Labor and Delivery procedures and the laws that govern them (which by the way, we have less control over how and when and where we want to deliver than I thought! It's time for a change on that Ladies! These laws and thoughts on how to train OB's are almost archaic!)
So, was my "inner voice" trying to tell me something? Did we finally hit the bulls-eye? I don't know, it's still WAY too early to tell that yet. But who knows? For right now, I'm gonna enjoy this day of joyful nonsense.
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