It's what we are both struggling with right now. I say it a little differently and that is that it's letting go of the expected outcome, what I have expected it to look like along the way and at the end. I trust God to do it because He's got something that is the best thing for me; it's not easy to let go, believe me! The struggle inside of me is of epic proportions. But I know it's right. The how to is hard. How does someone do this without giving up? I think that all that is required of us is to be willing, even when our willingness and our fear of letting it happen are duking it out inside of us. Just be willing, just say "yes" even if it's through gritted teeth and God does the rest; like He says in the Bible "gently and deeply".
This is where we are at with this; both baby and acting/making movies. It may not look like how we thought it would, the road to it may look different than we thought it would. But it will be no less wonderful, precious and exciting as we go there and when we get there.
I want to love the life I life every day, love the blessings, revel in what I do have, not what I don't. I can't do this, can't make it happen myself. I can be willing, however, to be transformed, I can make the choice to see the wonderful in my day and let God shape the rest in me. It's strange and I will likely go back and forth about this before the end of this journey, but I couldn't help seeing it as a gift last night; what we are going through. One we don't really want to unwrap, one we wish many a time we hadn't gotten. But God loves me so much to change me like this, to make me stronger; to me that's amazing. Now don't get me wrong, there have been and likely will be times when I will say "Screw Character! Get me out of here!" But I think what Dan and I are learning will eventually win out.
1 comment:
What a positive way to see this journey! That you are being transformed, and you are so right!!
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